I'm such an idiot.

This might sound like a "poor me" post. Its not. Its a "fucking angry" post.
Btw, this is not about the BF, we've never been better.
Because he can actually talk to me about his problems instead of acting like an asshat.
I put my trust in people, even though I should have learned by now.
I give up YEARS of my life to someone only to get nothing but shit and bile in return.
I'm so tired of being disapointed.
The next person to tell me "i am different" will get a punch to the face.
Nobodys's different.
They all fall in the same holes.
"Oh of course its fine that you want to sleep with other people than your hubby"
"Wait, nono, you are only supposed to sleep with me! Sharing means me! Sleep with someone besides me and you are a whore!"
What part of "open relationship" is so hard to understand?!
I just want to rip things apart and scream.

I can see forever.

For the second time in my life I have someone I can see myself growing old with.
I've had my share of lovers, but its never felt truly permanent.
Untill I met the BF.
I can see myself at 80 with him.
I can see myself buying a house with him.
And for the second time in 27 years I know the feeling of only wanting to be with this one person.
Confusing?
I'm never gonna give up being poly. I might even want other lovers at some point again, in the distant future.
But right now, and for as far as I can see, this is it.
This is the (second) one.
So I guess I'm mono-poly? (Is that a word?)
I have a family. A REAL family that I've made myself, with the only three people that matter.
And for me, thats all I need.

I text a postcard, sent to you
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you.
You are the moonlight of my life every night
Giving all my love to you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you.

With every breath that I am worth
Here on Earth
I'm sending all my love to you.
So if you dare to second guess
You can rest assured
That all my love's for you

My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you.

My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
Did I ever make it through?