Letting go.

It would have been three years today.
I've started to try to live again, but its all uphill and everything hurts.
The pills numb me, but I can still feel the pain on the outside of my cocoon, scratching to get in.
I just want my life back.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to stop loving him.
Why cant I stop loving him?
Is there a pill for that?
I guess I'll just do as the shrink says and up the dosage.
I had a friend that killed himself after his girlfriend left him.
I dont want to die, not at all, but I think I know what he felt like now.
And the voice in my head whispers on and on, You know the quick fix for all this.
You have offers, you can make it all go away, at least for a little while.
Just let go it says, just become who you used to be again.
Shut down, turn off and just... let.. go...
So this is me, letting go.