Maternal instinct, a rant.

I loathe my ovaries.
Sounds harsh, right?
They give me nothing but trouble and misery.
If I could have my tubes tied tomorrow, I'd do it.
My period is terribly late. (i'm not pregnant, i took the test twice)
If you've spent a day with me, you'll know how strict I am with myself about taking my birthcontrol-pills. I might forget everything else, but the pill is taken every day at 12, no exeptions.
I digress...
My problem is, no matter what I do, that pesky maternal instinct keeps coming back to kick me in the gut.
From a logical standpoint I know I could not be further from being ready to becoming a mother.
My whole life is structured in such a way that a baby would be the biggest mistake ever.
But I cant help it.
I see someone on the street with a baby and.. well, it really feels like someone is kicking me in the stomach.
*sigh*
A part of me was actually hoping for the test to be positive. I hate that part.
Its not fair.
Not to me, not to my life-partners.
And now, if you'll excuse me gentle reader, I'm gonna go cuddle with my darling ratties.
If the way I raise them is any indication of how good a parent I'd be then someone will come take the aforementioned ovaries away tomorrow.
Spoiled brats...