Closer to myself, somehow.

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place.

I've been up since five this morning and feel tired to burst, but some stuff just needs to be put down before me. (Get it? :-P)
I am blissful.
Just blissful.
Because she likes me, she really does.
We hang out, we chat and giggle and kiss and I can feel my heart fluttering in my chest again and again.
I dyed my hair the brightest pink I could find today, to match my mood.
It had to come out somehow!
I could never, ever imagine having four people to care about like this, but here I am, plum in the middle of so much love it makes me dizzy.
I just want to spread glitter and sparklers and bright pink balloons everywhere!
But now, in the words of the great Dylan Moran, BEDTIME, BEDTIME, BEDTIME!!!

Heart vs tummy.

Top is still full of butterflies, but the lower part is full of swirling nervous and dread.
I could not be more delighted, but its all moving so very fast and oh my word...
Most of all, I want to make her happy.
She deserves everything that is good and beautiful and wonderful in the world.
I'm just so scared I cant be good enough.
I feel so big and clumsy and coarse, like a lumbering ogre stumbling alongside a fawn.
But I got to hold her hand, walking by the river and my heart soared and leaped with joy.

She likes me, I think she likes me...

But does she *like me* like me, like I like her?

So I'm wandering around the apartement singing musical-tunes, so what?
I feel pink and sparkly and a bit like one of those helium balloons with the glitter inside and pictures of My Little Pony on the outside.
I'm floating around, feet hardly touching the ground.
I know I should be reasonable and practical and blah, blah blaaaah....
Screw that, I deserve a little glitter in my life.
And she... oh gods, she makes me smile and laugh and blush and giggle and consider colouring my hair pink again.

I'm full of fluttering butterflies.